why am I here?

Why am I here?

This question first stroke me during my first few weeks in university.
It was the first few weeks I’ve been separated from my home, my family and my familiar environment.

Having ‘lost’ my familiar reasons for life made me think to find my new Purpose for Existing.
Since then, the founded Purpose for Existing has been quite stable and unchanged.

Recently, my friend lent me a book, The Why Are You Here Cafe by John. P. Strelecky.
A very inspirative book that made me reconsider what I’ve considered as my Purpose for Existing.

Have I found my true Purpose for Existing?

How, if somehow the thing is taken out from me and I’m pushed to the other side?

As in the Gladiator film, where the once famous Roman General became the lowest level of warrior, the Gladiator.
How everything that ever mattered in his life turned to be his nemesises in few hours.

Problem is I do not have time to think for the other things but my set goal.

It is because I am a very focused person.
I’d like to fight all the way to reach the goal.
Even so that I burnt out all my energy.
Left me nothing to think of other things.

Well, maybe it’s time for me to stop positioning myself as a powerful shark with unlimited energy who can swim as he wants.
Swim forward all the way do not bother of whether the wave are incoming or outgoing.

And start to think like a green sea turtle who use his limited energy wisely.
Conserve energy, not fighting the incoming wave, only spent minimal energy just not to be set back.
And using the outgoing wave effectively to swim faster than he actually can.

(previously posted in Friendster on April 12th, 2007)